Updated: Feb 12
By Dominique Oyston
Are you afraid of too much visibility?
Perhaps you fear others judging you as an imposter, or fear being exposed as not knowing everything you think you should? Maybe you fear that others will judge you or become jealous if you become more visible?
So many of the women I work with fear their power.
You’re not alone – many people fear being seen for some reason. But this fear is holding you back from your greatest potential in life and in business.
Every woman on this earth experiences fears and blocks around visibility at some point in their life. That’s why I wanted to share one of my favourite tools for busting through those, so you can embrace your power once again.
Why are we so afraid of being seen and heard?
Simply put, every single one of us has a story of ‘I am not enough’. Women have experienced 3,000 years of not being able to stand on stage in our power and be celebrated. We have not been allowed to declaim, ‘this is my voice, my magic, my enthusiasm for life and the choices I make!’
It is time for us to reclaim that power. It’s time to reclaim our voices, our identity, our authority and our magic.
Right here, right now it is our task to stop seeing ourselves through the lens of patriarchy, but instead see ourselves through the lens of love.
To change this limited vision of ourselves, we need to understand who we authentically are. We need to embrace our strengths, our magic, and even our peculiarities. Then we need to amplify all of these traits and step into our truest selves.
Profitable visibility requires that we amplify our uniqueness.
One of the best ways to achieve this is through myth-making.
Myth-making – the tool of heroines
The interesting thing about the human brain is that it can’t really tell the difference between an imagined reality and actual reality. It’s why we get attached to characters in books, TV shows and movies. Our brains believe they exist.
But you can use this to your advantage by using a confidence technique to step up to greater visibility called myth-making.
This technique is one that my father, a theatre director and character expert, used to teach to his theatre students. Many of the students had fears and blocks around being visible, being seen and being on stage even though they longed to share their gifts. So he showed them the magic of the question, ‘If I was…?’
He called it ‘the magic IF’. It simply requires you to learn the story of a character and imagine that you are them within that story. You act ‘as if’. And suddenly you become brave or calm, your posture changes, your voice, your body language and your inner attitude.
You might not be a theatre student, but you can use this tool to shift your blocks and how you think about your life and business.
If you were Cleopatra, would you do everything in your business by yourself?
If you were Aphrodite, would you settle for dissatisfaction in your relationships?
Myth-making can help bust your blocks around confidence and visibility. It can allow you to do things that you didn’t believe you were capable of. It can help you to visually brand your business, while reclaiming your voice, power, presence and identity. That makes it a tool worth keeping on hand!
How myth-making might look for you
When you’re myth-making, you want to embody a story that feels completely authentic to you and that you relate to. For example, let’s say that I’m terrified of speaking on stage. For this, I would connect to the story of Joan of Arc.
If I’m Joan of Arc, I’m a 17-year-old peasant girl. I can’t read, and I can’t write. And yet, somehow, I find myself in the court of the French king.
In this case, everyone in the audience are the courtiers of the French court. Somewhere in the audience is the king himself.
So it doesn’t matter what the courtiers think or say about me – my target is the king. He is my ideal client, and my message is for him. So the only thing I have to do on that stage is speak to him and connect with him. His ear is the only one I need to share my message. So I don’t need to fear anyone else’s opinion.
The best part is that I know that as Joan of Arc, the King of France will reward me and give me his armies. Joan of Arc threw the English out of France, and changed the world! I am a heroine.
In that audience, I might have two other ideal clients that I want to reach. So when I speak, I reach out to the frustrated women who are sick of being bored housewives, who are ready to cut off their hair, don armour and come and fight with me!
And as I speak, I connect with the champions and captains of the army. These men are battle-weary, and have lost heart. They need inspiration, and I am here to inspire them! Joan of Arc told her armies that God is on her side, so they will win. Together, they can reclaim France.
As you can see, when you speak from a myth, you become this epic character. Using this as a tool helps you to leap over any blocks you have, because you are a heroine!
Joan of Arc might have been afraid to speak in public as well, but she had deep strength and belief to draw on. As Joan of Arc, you do too.
Which archetypal story might you connect to that will empower your visibility? Everyone has a inner myth to help them shine.
If you wish to learn more about the most powerful archetypes for feminine business and visibility and be surrounded by a group of women messengers who are developing their courage and their strength to powerfully share their message, I invite you to join my fb group Divine Feminine Messengers Circle